Daily Reverie

It's just me…

Everything Else is Totally Rad. July 6, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Lauren @ 4:08 AM

I don’t exactly know where to start with this blog. I have so much stuff just floating around in my head that I just feel like I need to get it out. I’ve been working at a Christian Summer Camp for the past three weeks. And to be completely honest, I had no expectations for God to do anything in my life through any of the people there. holy crap, was I wrong!

First off, our accountability leader has a write a letter to ourselves that she is going to send to us at the end of the summer. in the letter, we had to write down some goals that we wanted to achieve by the end of the summer. One of the big things that I wanted to work on this summer was confidence in myself. I really need to learn the whole lesson of “be careful what you ask for.” I wasn’t even supposed to be a counselor at this camp. But the very first week I was asked to be a counselor for 12-17year olds. God is so funny. Even though I didn’t have confidence in myself, I had to pretend like I did, because these girls that I was counseling were looking up to me. For the most part it was WONDERFUL. I got to connect with my girls and talk to them about God and what he can do in their lives. There was this one girl in my cabin. Bre. She would not open up to me, and just would not talk to me at all. One morning during our cabin huddles we were talking about the parable of the Lost Son. She just simply said “I don’t consider myself a Christian. And I don’t really know if I want to be one anyway.” It was heartbreaking to see someone in the same place that I was about a year ago, and all I could come up with to say was stupid cliches that I hate “I know how you feel” or “Jesus still loves you anyway.”

On the lastnight of camp, we had something called the cross walk. The staff members were given candles to hold to light the way for the campers and they campers took turns carrying a big cross. At the end of the walk, we had campfire, each person was given a candle to set in around the campfire, symbolizing something that we were giving up to God. Bre, started crying. I tried to talk to her and all she said was “I don’t want to talk to you about this” So I just prayed with her. The next day, as she was leaving, she stopped and turned around and ran back to me and gave me a great big hug and said “I’m so sorry for being such a brat this week. Thank you so much for being a wonderful counselor and not judging me and understanding where I am coming from.”

God is Good.

So much other staff happened too. I can’t even put it all into words. I experienced my first, real run in with spiritual warfare. Which was intense.

God also healed my heart completely and finished a work that has taken about a year and a half. I no longer wake up in the morning with a huge ache in my heart. My heart feels light and it feels happy for the first time in a very long time.

God is Good.