I really like poetry, I don’t write it very often. Just when I am feeling an intense emotion. I wrote this poem over a year ago in May 2009. It was about the previous year, and everything leading up to that point.
One day I prayed a prayer that changed my life forever
“God create in me a miracle,
bless me with eyes to see.
I know that you are there,
But as hard as I search,
I cannot find you anywhere”
I said all this in innocence
barely over a year ago.
All in faith that He would fulfill
But with no idea of when or how
or any knowledge of what was in store
People’s trails rarely seem that bad,
when you’re on the outside looking in.
I always scoffed when people said they had been broken
Always said that I could make it through what they had.
But the tests set out before us
were laid out by the Father that knows us to our very core.
Being broken comes in many shapes and forms
For some it’s the commitment
Or a bruising and breaking down of an ego,
Other’s it is the chance that they may fail.
Being led through life’s storms
is a promise God does reveal
In a girlish flight of feeling,
I gave my heart away
It felt so different, so strange
But I fervently prayed the feelings would forever stay.
Little did I know God was about to grant my prayer
To create in me a miracle with new eyes to see
I was broken, as far away from people as could be
Mentally, so I moved that it would also be physically.
Ten hours south, to the beach and the sun.
I was determined to start a new
To run in the ocean and have some fun.
At first my plan was working,
and the pain seemed to dull
I decided to play a game with God
To see how long I could go
without His hand to guide me
I was busy with school, and the beach
But ignoring God to prove a point
It left me feeling anything but full.
I embraced the sun, the weather and the warmth
But inside I still felt cold and dark, alone and full of fear
I refused, I did not want to hear
what other’s had to say to try and brighten up my day
It was then I began to learn
One’s worst life with God is better
than one’s best life without Him.
Once again I found myself before Him on the floor
Beginning to implore
“I want to be a miracle, I want a drastic change
The pain of being broken, is just too much to bear
God take me as you will, but don’t forget
to heal me as well.”
I wanted something immediate .
A great light from heaven to strike me where I was
A bandage around my heart
to guide the pieces together
to calm the storms of my soul, and bring me to the light
I began to feel the forces start the fight
for my soul and who I am.
“God what are you doing?
I do not understand, to go through
all this pain, was never in my plan.”
One day I acted on a whim
I drove through the desert,and witnessed
a wilderness and beauty
I never knew existed.
God found me in the desert
Gave me water and let me live
I embraced His love and kindness
Took a walk along the beach
until I found a cliff.
I overlooked the waves
felt so tiny, like a single grain of sand
Grateful and loved
that I was important enough to be saved
I embraced my tears with ease
felt complete, and allowed my heart to bleed
I let go of all my fears.
Jesus was with there, hugging and loving me for me
I made it home, and the floor on bended knee
In the same place I first asked for
a miracle and new eyes for me to see.
By faith I came to realize
By faith I made my plea
By grace Jesus answered,
even though I faltered, hated and I screamed
He never left my side
leading and holding me tighter everyday.
I was broken, made anew
and would never have it any other way.
One day I prayed a prayer, because I knew my life was forever changed
“God you created in me a miracle,
gave me brand new eyes with which to see.
I know, Father that you are there,
and I search and I can see
By faith I will now follow you anywhere”